International Mormons Against American Domination

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Over at Mormon Shadow, Ronan revealed the establishment of his International Mormons Against American Domination guerrilla organisation.

It seems their first order of business is to remove basketball courts from all LDS chapels in the UK and replace them with soccer fields. What a great idea.

Canadians don’t play basketball. We have only two NBA franchises for Pete’s sake, and they’ve only been around since the 1990s. The only Canadians that even watch basketball are Mormons.

That being said, I don’t think soccer fields would go over very well here either. So I propose that IMAAD installs hockey rinks in Canada. If that won’t do, I think we’d settle for lacrosse or rugby fields.

I’m not much of an athlete anymore (especially with my arthritis), so I’d personally prefer a pool hall.

12 thoughts on “International Mormons Against American Domination

  1. My parents were born in Canada, I love hockey (stupid deal this year) our kids played floor hockey on the church BB court a lot. But for me, I’m all for the pool table idea, they’d get used a lot more than the BB backstops, which are always up. (And our stake rents the local Jr. High School for their games, instead of using the Stake Center – go figure!

  2. In Guatemala the church buildings have their basketball courts outside. The only people who tend to use them are the missionaries. But there is a catch. The back-board is sitting on top of a soccer-goal, so the court can be used for a miniature soccer game as well. This actually works out really well down there.

  3. Jeffrey,
    Did you go to Guatemala on your mission? If so, which one? I was in the Central mission. I’d have to agree that the missionaries are the only ones playing basketball down there, but the soccer goals are perfect for poppyfoot (soccer with a small ball on a small, cement court). If you want to feel superior to the Guats, challenge them to a game of basketball. If you want to be humbled, challenge them to a game of poppy.

  4. More importantly, is the IMAAD going to insert thousands of extra u’s in the British BOM?
    What about a Canadian BOM with English/French parallel text?

  5. Basketball courts? I never saw any basketball courts in any church buildings in Europe (and by “Europe” I mean, of course, “France”).

    Anyway, we played soccer in the gym in our meetinghouse in Sandy, UT, basketball standards notwithstanding. You just have to lay some folding tables against the accordian doors for great wall-pass action on both sides of the field…er, pitch.


  6. I vote for adding Poker Tables to the Cultural Halls in the U.S. You’d get a lot more brethren out for EQ socials (maybe even some “less actives”) and the church could take a 1% rake. It’s not gambling if it’s for a good cause, right?

  7. The building my ward is in (stake center) has a pool table in one of the rooms. A very nice pool table too.

    A Bishop told me that Basketball is God’s Sport and that is why all the buildings have hoops.

  8. OK, George/Bill—here’s yet another chance for you to provide some actual backing for one of your stories. Where is this stake center with the pool table? Can someone verify this?

  9. I have never told you were I live and I do not plan on it. The pool table is in the stake center and it is used almost weekly. It is under lock and key and most members do not know it is in the building. It was donated by a very rich member.

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