Traditional culture among members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints seems to encourage people to get married quickly. Of course, often people seem not to do such for a number of reasons (finish school, everyone’s ugly, don’t have a car, etc).
Unfortunately, there are times when such individuals, though not all, seem to stay single for extended periods of time. The following ten steps are designed to help those who feel trapped in such a situation to get out.
It has never been tested on bachelorettes.
1. Write down EVERY SINGLE thing you are looking for in an eternal companion. Everything from how active in the Church she should be to the colour of hair to her clothing styles to whether she likes olives or not. EVERY THING.
Do NOT proceed to the next steps without fully completing this step.
2. Set a goal date by which you will be engaged. Be realistic. Don’t make it too short and don’t make it too far away. Post this goal somewhere, or make it easy to remember (six months from Christmas as an example).
3. Set a goal date by which you will be married. Same conditions as above.
4. Write up a list of EVERYONE who is interested in you. Start with those who live closest. List them in order by the degree they like you (the most at the top). Do not pay attention to whether you like them or not.
5. Phone up the first person on your list and ask her on a date as soon as possible. Act like a gentleman on your date but be yourself. At the end of your date, compare her characteristics, personality and qualities to the list you made in step one.
6. Repeat steps 5 & 6 with everyone in your list, starting next with the second one, then the third one, etc.
7. When you have dated everyone on the list, compare each one’s characteristics, personalities and qualities with those of the others. Select the one which most closely meet the elements of the list you created in step 1.
8. Date her a few more time to make sure your first impressions were correct. If they weren’t, go on to the second person.
9. Ask her to go steady. Continue dating her to strengthen whatever relationship you have developed by this point.
10. On or before the goal date you set in step 2, ask her to marry you before or on the goal date you set in step 3.
There you go. Ten easy steps to get married. Follow EACH of them as outlined, and you will be married for sure.