Gay Children

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If your child came to you and announced s/he was gay, what do you think your reaction would be? If you think you would be supportive, what do you think that support would be?

9 thoughts on “Gay Children

  1. I would tell him that just because he was experiencing some level of SGA that does not mean he is gay. I would tell him that help is available and let him know we can work through this.

    I would be supportive of him as a child of God. Not of the sinful behavior he was doing/contemplating.

  2. That happened to a friend of mine. She said sort of what you said, Eric, but I think she said something like, “oh, honey, you’re not gay.”

    He’s pretty gay, all right.

    I don’t know what I would do. No idea.

  3. It depends on whether you define “supportive” as accepting of the child’s sinful behavior, or as desiring to help the child turn away from this temptation.

  4. Good question Kim, although not a comfortable one. Depending on the age of the child, such an announcement would most likely be a confirmation to the parent, not a surprise. Since a big part of our earthy purpose is reproduction, having a gay child is a major disappointment for a parent. But my life is likely more than half over, and one thing I’ve learned is sexual orientation isn’t a choice for most. In many ways, life is like a poker game, and we each have to play the hand we’re dealt as best we can. I’ve have gay friends, including some great missionaries I served with, who tried marriage with disastrous results. So, while I hope this is an issue I’ll never have to deal with, I also hope in such a case I would be supportive.

    I would likely inquire if he/she had searched his heart that perhaps he might be bisexual and might succeed at a traditional relationship if the right person came into their lives. I would also encourage him to hold out hope for a divine cure, especially if they were struggling to comply with present church teachings on the subject and ask them to consider a priesthood blessing. If in time, he had concluded that sexual fulfillment was indeed only possible with the same sex, I would encourage pursuit of a safe monogamous long term relationship and encourage my gay child to remain involved with the family and involved with their present and future nieces, nephews, etc such that they would have an earthly legacy to enjoy, albeit not a direct reproductive one.

    To a parent for which this hypothetic situation is reality, my heart goes out to you and your child.

  5. ltbugaf,

    I am not defining “supportive”. I was just saying that if someone answers by saying s/he would be supportive, I would be interested in knowing what that support would be.

  6. Eric (1)-

    I would tell him that help is available and let him know we can work through this.

    And what kind of help would that be?

  7. I would hope I would stand by them.. whether its my children or grandchildren. I don’t think someone can “outgrow” being gay or that a blessing is going to “cure” them. Christ has unconditional love for me no matter what I do and I am sure I do a lot of really stupid things in His eyes and I would hope my love for my children/grandchildren would be unconditional.

    Just because I don’t approve of their lifestyle does not mean I would disapprove of them. They grew up in the church they know our family values, the church’s values, the church’s stand on gay relationships. My sitting down with them to set them straight is going to accomplish what?

    I would support them and by that I mean I would let them know I still love them and that I am there for them if they want to talk or give a hug or anything. I haven’t always approved of some of the girlfriend/boyfriends that my children have had and they were heterosexuals so being gay is not going to change who someone is in regards to how they treat my child/grandchild.

  8. I’m pretty sure my reaction would be,”Oh, really. Pass the peas.”

    i.e. This makes absolutely no difference to me. My kids are my kids.

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