I had to go to downtown Vancouver today to see a specialist and it went way overtime. I was unsure of the area or the bus schedules (had only checked on how to get there not on how to return) and so got on a wrong bus, and wrong getting off spot on the way to the Granville train station. Getting to the point, the 20 minute bus ride back to downtown and the hour spent on the train back to Surrey was spent standing up. Now you can say well lots of people were probably standing up as it was rush hour and they were as it was standing room only but what bothered me were the amounts of males were sitting while older women and disabled people were left standing.
I can walk for miles at a time but to stand in one spot for more then 10 minutes or so sends spasms down my legs. It really upset me that not once in that hour and 20 minutes did any male get up to offer the seat to any female not even the older men!! What’s up with that?? Has chivalry died when I wasn’t looking? Have the demands from women in the real world for equality changed the way males treat women?
Do parents no longer teach their children common respect for their elders regardless of being male or female? Is it no longer acceptable to help others or to treat others the way you would want to be treated? When my husband picked me up at the train station he had to lift my legs into our vehicle as I couln’t lift them from the pain and spasms and he was very angry that I had not asked for a seat. He said I should have gone to the bus driver and shown him my disability card that states I need a disabled seat and I said and what happens when I get on the train when there isn’t a bus driver he said I should have just asked someone for their seat. But I didn’t.
I sure would like to know if manners and common deceny and chivalry died when I had my nose buried in a book reading.
It’s a me world. But yes, I have seen that in some places, big cities mainly. Here, I see more people who are courteous and thoughtful. I am sorry you had to experience this mum :(
Should a man with a cane stand in order that an able-bodied woman can sit?
I would not expect a man with a disability to stand and give up his seat for a able bodied female. My point was able bodied males who did not get up for females out of courtesy.
I’ve got conflicting opinions about this…
On the one hand, if women want equal treatment, this is a direct byproduct. On a clinical analytical level it makes perfect sense for a man to sit while a woman stands – we all being equal and all..
On a personal level, I generally am the ‘dork’ who relinquishes his seat, gets stuck holding the door, gives directions etc.
I guess I have a hard time accepting that we live in a dog eat dog world. I guess as a survival mechanism, we’re all expected to become more impersonal.
I think that, had I been in Sally’s position, I’d.au)20asked someone for a seat. But that’s just me.
“I would not expect a man with a disability to stand and give up his seat for a able bodied female.”
It’s easy to see a man has a disability if he has a cane, but what if he doesn’t have a cane? How could you tell he had a disability? Were all the men who were sitting yesterday free of disability, or were some sitting because of disability?
I suspect you’re a very attractive gal and the men were all “handicapped” and too embarrassed to stand. It was a frequent phenomenon for me from puberty until my late 30s and still happens, albeit less frequently now.
Kim
“Were all the men who were sitting yesterday free of disability, or were some sitting because of disability? ”
No of course they weren’t. My question was not whether a disabled man should give up their seat for a female but rather why was it that NO male gave up their seat out of courtesy?
There are many times where I am sitting in a disabled seat and an elderly man/woman come on the bus/train and I give up my seat even though I have every right to sit there. I do it out of respect for my elders.
My disability is not obvious unless the person knows me and sees the pain on my face. And I assume there are men out there that have the same situation but to have 2 full buses and an entire train car that I was in not have any males at all give up their seat…well I find it very difficult to believe that they were ALL disabled. Physcially? No… Mentally? Obviously
Steve EM awwww shucks :) Thank you very much…and although coming up to 50 in a short few weeks I will take the compliment but I don’t think that was the case this time lol
I have always liked to let the person behind me at the grocery store go ahead if they have alot less items than I. The reaction I used to get was a simple polite thanks. Lately people look at me in shock; like I’m from another planet when I do this. I think there has been a general loss in courtesy in society lately and people have come to expect less of others.