So the other day we (the children and I) were in the van getting ready to go somewhere. I forget exactly where, but obviously it was somewhere they needed to show their manners. So I reminded them of this, saying “You will need to behave, or we won’t be able to stay”. Our son, in his very dramatic, 5-year-old way immediately said, in a rather exasperated manner, “I hate behaving!”
Apparently it is a very boring way to be. This boy of ours doesn’t appreciate boredom very much.
I should also add that he is a pretty well-behaved boy. He has his moments, Regan does, but he is average for his age. But being TOLD to behave, well, that’s a whole other ball game.
Dude, I totally feel the same way more times than not!
LOL
Yes, now that I think about it, I totally understand. Sometimes it is such a pain having to behave, isn’t it? hehe
Behaving is a lot like breathing;
it’s easiest to do when you don’t have to think about it.
Well Rick, I agree to a point, but I think that most little boys just have such a HARD time doing what they are supposed to sometimes. It’s just not fun, you know? And as Regan often tells us, he wants to have fun.
Well, until doing what he’s supposed to equates with risking bodily harm, property damage, or annoying his parents and sister, I don’t think that he’s going to get much fun out of behaving.
At least if he’s anything like my son.
;)
lol, nope he won’t. He’s of the belief that “no” means “maybe” etc etc. He also thinks up things his older sister NEVER did.
Which is what prompted this post, rick.
Maybe he prefers to have free agency to choose what he does as opposed to being told what to do.
Of course, there is no such thing as free agency while they live in my house and I support them.
Free agency is when they are parents and make the rules for their kids.
We have 2 commendants in our home for the children to follow. God of course has 10.
Our two rules:
Rule # 1: Do as Mom says.
Rule # 2: Follow rule # 1.
Well seeing as how he is 5, yes, I would assume he wants to do everything HE wants to do, rather than what we want him to do. But he is also 5, so he has to learn proper behaviour which of course is part of my job as mum.
My kids react well to being reminded beforehand to behave. I think it helps to tell them my expectation. How are they supposed to know if we don’t tell them? So sometimes clear specific expectations.
I forget sometimes, and the last playdate my 6 year old went on he behaved alright, but I had forgotten to talk to him about playing WITH the friend. So each of them wanted to play something different and the other mom couldn’t quite get them to pick something together. Talking to children about good manners (when we are at the meeting, you need to sit quietly and read or color while Mommy and Daddy talk to people at the meeting), or what to do in a situation (like if the friend wants to play something different you can take turns, first play what he wants, then both of you can play what you want), and of course what is inappropriate (when Mrs. X drives you to the park, please speak in an inside voice. No yelling.)
JKS
Ours do too. I think children need to be reminded, because their memories are often short (well ours are too at times) and repetition helps in definite ways. But sometimes it’s just no fun, you know? :) (for them, I mean, well at least for my 5 year old. My 7 year old doesn’t have a problem with it generally).
stubborn is as stubborn was :)
to a 5 year old his life revolves around playing. In his mind “behaving” conjurs up images of having to sit in an uncomfortable chair perhaps, listening to adults talk, having to stay very quiet, no toys allowed, perhaps no other children around….etc… maybe using a different word then behaving would help. Maybe telling them that if they act appropriately in a situation they can be themselves afterwards at a park or at home or go do something fun?
“they can be themselves afterwards”
So put on an act?
Wouldn’t it be easier to make it part of their nature?
I can understand having to use deception and acting in the case of Kim, Sally. I mean sometimes things are just out of our control, but Mary seems much more capable of bringing up socially adjusted children…
(Disclaimer: The above comment may contain sarcasm, ingenuine comments and/or tongue-in-cheekiness which the commentor felt would be amusing. Your mileage may vary.)
He is a typical boy, that’s for sure :) And I blame his stubborness on his father, lol.
Rick, hah, yes, well you know it is just so much FUN sometimes, for little boys (and little girls too at times) to do things that deep down they know they shouldn’t. Someone was telling me the other day about her very well behaved granddaughter, who NEVER does anything she shouldn’t (age 4 I believe) however, one day, she along with her brothers who have less inhibitions (what is it about boys??) were very quietly playing at Grandma’s house. Grandma decided she had better check on them and found them in her make up all covered in lipstick, etc, including her angel granddaughter. This granddaughter said afterwards ” Oh Grandma, I knew it was wrong, I knew we should stop but it was so much FUN< I just couldn't help myself". Rick, I should introduce you to some of my siblings, then you can tell me if I am more capable of bringing up socially adjusted children, hehe.