22 thoughts on “Would you remarry if your spouse died?

  1. I think it might be more appropriate to ask if I would try to remarry. Even that question, however, could be answered only with more details filled in, such as my age at the time, the situation of my children, and so forth.

  2. I’ve never been married, so I admit that my opinion on this subject may change. However, I don’t think I would remarry if I were widowed. I would feel disloyal if I did so. (I’m not judging anyone who believes differently, though.) I see marriage for time and all eternity as being just that, forever. If it’s forever, and it exists beyond the grave, then even if a spouse dies, that marriage is still in force.

  3. Obviously, whatever I would decide to do in that situation would be undertaken prayerfully. However, my career plans involve being an attorney, and I would like to start my own law practice working from a home office. Given those plans, if I find myself as a single mother, I feel confident in my ability to both nurture and provide for my family.

  4. I agree with Keri that the first sealing should still be viewed as in force. But I don’t see why that would make it wrong to have another marrige.

  5. I consider finding the husband that I have rather miraculous. Fat divorced mid-30’s Mormon women with two children are not exactly in high demand in the dating scene. While I would not be opposed to remarrying, I think it would be very unlikely that someone would want to marry me.

    I think my husband is a prize catch, but it took him forever to get married the first time, so it’s not likely that he would remarry either. To remarry, he’d have to date.

  6. What if your second wife wasn’t previously sealed to anyone, Brett, and you end up spending 50 years married to each other?

  7. I wouldn’t feel right telling a woman I love that since I have been sealed to someone else, I refuse to be sealed to her. Why deny her the sealing? I hope no woman would marry a man whose commitment to her didn’t go far enough to be sealed.

  8. This is going to sound dumb, but here’s how I would do it: I wouldn’t marry someone who hasn’t been sealed already or divorced, I would just look for widows like me. I know this probably would reduce the potential spouse pool to zilch, but that’s how I would roll.

  9. Brett, is that because you would just feel strange being a polygamist?

  10. I would not remarry again. Kim you stated to Keri: What if you lost your spouse when you were still young, and you had six young children to raise, Keri?”

    are you saying she or any other woman would not be able to raise her young family without a husband? Why would she or any other woman want to marry just for the sake of the children having a father? That’s the same thing as women who think they have to stay in an abusive marriage because of the children.

    Seeing as how “most” men (excluding your dad, your sister’s husband and yourself) take on a small role in raising their children (and I am not talking about going to work at a paid job outside the home either) , the role of raising children still in this day and age falls on the shoulders of the women regardless if they are married or not.

  11. are you saying she or any other woman would not be able to raise her young family without a husband?

    No, but doing it alone is different than doing it with someone else there.

  12. I’d remarry, sure, if I met someone I’d want to be married to. It’s not something I think about, though, because since I’m diabetic I’ve always assumed I’ll be dead before my husband is. I fully expect him to remarry. He does not function well alone.

  13. I agree with Keri on this subject. i don’t know for sure, because ive never been put into that situation. but i honestly don’t think i could ever remarry if my husband died. i believe a marriage is eternal meaning FOREVER. if i were to marry or even date anyone after my husbands death i would feel like i was being unfaithful. i would countinue to do everything as if i were still married to him. i would keep his memories close to my heart and look forward to seeing him again in heaven.

  14. That’s easy to say now, brittany, but what if he were to predecease you very early in your lives? Have you any idea how lonely you may be? It’s been my experience that young people who lose a spouse have a very difficult time living without companionship, once they’ve experienced it – especially members.

  15. I agree rick. As hard as it may be to fathom being in that situation, it is a bit naive to take that point of view, especially if you are early in your marriage with young children in the family.

    Personally, I have an easier time accepting my wife re-marrying if I die before her than me re-marrying if she were to. I’d want my children to be well looked after and have a father figure to look up to for guidance.

    As difficult as it is to imagine, I’d want my children to also have someone to look to as a mother if my wife were ever to die.

    If the kids were all grown up and moved away, I might be more likely to slug it out alone.

  16. A second marriage is really hard on children even grown children. I would recommend one taking their time (more than 6 months) if you lose your spouse.

  17. I wouldn’t remarry. My minor children would need all my attention.

    I wonder if I’ve been brainwashed by Dr. Laura.

    However, I concede that if I was pursued aggressively by someone whom I came to want to marry, I’d probably marry. That’s how I married the first time, and if such a thing happened to a post-40 mother like me, I’d take that as divine intervention that dare not be mocked.

    My husband says if I die, he’ll take a different 20-something beautiful undereducated woman to church each Sunday, since that’s what people would expect of men. He managed to say this while sounding like he’d be somehow inconsolable at the loss of his 40-something me. He doesn’t think anyone would marry him because we have more than three children.

    He’d be snatched up. And he’d get a woman with a graduate degree this time.

    Better go take my vitamins.

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