Protesting Father’s Day

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Following Sacrament meting yesterday, the bishopric had the young women hand out Lindor chocolates to all the adult males in our ward. I refused mine. I refused my Dad’s cookie last year as well.

Why, you may ask. Because I am protesting.

It is my strongly held belief that it should not be the ward’s responsibility to ensure dads are honoured on Father’s Day (or, for that matter, mums are honoured on Mother’s Day). I believe that it should be children (or spouses even) who honour the fathers/mothers in their family.

For similar reasons I do not think Sacrament meeting talks on Mother’s Day should exclusively be about mothers.

This is probably one of the many reasons I would never be considered for a vacancy in a bishopric. I’d have a mutiny on my hands for sure.

35 thoughts on “Protesting Father’s Day

  1. I would have to disagree especially with mothers day. Often women who are not married and don’t have any children and their biggest wish is to be a mother won’t be honoured on mothers day if it’s not for the wards honouring them.

    Of course it’s the children and spouses who should be honouring the fathers but it’s just a nice gesture for the ward to do something special for them. My ward never did though but they did for mother’s day.

  2. “Often women who are not married and don’t have any children and their biggest wish is to be a mother won’t be honoured on mothers day if it’s not for the wards honouring them.”

    Ummmm….

    If they have no children, why would you honour them on Mother’s Day anyway? They’re not mothers.

  3. My wife gave me the stink-eye for not standing to get my cookie yesterday.

    I guess you could make a case for Father’s and Mother’s day being doctrinal by citing “Honor they father and thy mother that thy days may be long”, but I really don’t see what any of it has to do with the gospel or the atonement or any reason why we attend Sacrament meeting.

    Then, she asked the minefield question “Well, do you think they should give something out on Mother’s day?”

    That didn’t go over well either.

    I don’t think the kids should get up and sing, I don’t think they should hand anything out. There shouldn’t be any special talks. It should be just like any other Sunday.

    If families want to do something at home… bust out, but leave it out of the worship service.

  4. I tend to agree. In our ward a BIG deal is made about Mother’s Day…and a much less deal is made about Father’s Day. I say a song, a talk or something like that would be just fine. However, stopping that ball from rolling might be difficult…and one might get crushed by it shouuld they try!

  5. What a silly thing to waste your time “protesting”. You sound like the kind of person who complains to the Bishop about the type of bread used for sacrament.

  6. C’mon, Kim. In a world where the family is falling apart; where fewer and fewer people are devoted to being good parents; where dad is portrayed as a clueless buffoon and mom as a selfish twit in the arts and media; where the quality of parenting is ranked seemingly by the “ostensibles” such as physical health and Ivy League education by the science community; where what spark of familial congeniality there may be is grounded by a flimsy, whimsical transient ethics–if not money–rather than the love of God; you refuse to lend your support to the finest organization in the world in it’s effort to uphold, edify, and sanctify, the most noble callings that can be bestowed upon man or woman–indeed the very callings that make human-kind more God-like than any other of God’s creations?

  7. I have no problems with the Church teaching fathers, mothers and strong families are important. I have a problem with the Church celebrating Father’s Day and Mother’s Day.

  8. Even if such celebration does more good than ill in promoting the will of God which, if embraced by a large enough contingency of humanity, will save the earth from destruction?

  9. By “More Good” do you mean ignoring the message of the atonement and the gospel?

    I don’t believe Kim, or anyone else is saying that celebrating fathers is a bad thing. Just that it has no place in a sacrament meeting.

    Perhaps we should also celebrate Baden Powell’s birthday, the winner of the Super Bowl, and the winner of the Miss America pagent? I’m sure there’s good in all those as well. We can celebrate scouting, sportsmanship and teamwork, and the pursuit of excellence.

    Some things just don’t belong in a sacrament meeting.

  10. Yes, Jack, because I don’t think Father’s Day does this. Likewise, I don’t think Mother’s Day does it either. In fact, in my opinion, I believe having these two holidays ends up discouraging persons from doing/saying things frequently to show appreciation for their parents. In other words, I think they do the opposite of what their conceivers envisioned.

  11. I really think that the only reason the local wards do anything for father’s day is to appease the few men that feel they need to be publicly recognized.

    Father’s day is everyday for me. When my daughter kisses me goodnight, when all my kids bring home good report cards, and when as a family we kneel in prayer and none of them protest if asked to pray. It is enough for me to know that I provide an environment where they only have to worry about chores and homework. My wife does the hard work everyday all day. So I think it is fitting that at least 1 day a year (and some time in sacrament meeting) is set aside to further recognize the efforts our wives put in.

    As for the “poor perception” jibe, I think a dictionary would void your argument.

  12. “If they have no children, why would you honour them on Mother’s Day anyway? They’re not mothers.”

    Rick, I tend to disagree. I was called a mother in Zion before I became a mother. Having dealt with infertility, I know what it is like to feel shunted off to the wayside for “not being a mother” as if it is more important than being a woman.

    I love Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and I personally have no problem with the wards honouring it, but I respect Kim’s right to do so and don’t see why some people take personal offence to it.

    Father’s Day is every day for Kim too. We honour him regularly.

    However I feel for those who don’t get the honouring because they are not mothers or wives. I know women who specifically do not come to church on Mother’s Day for that very reason.

    I also had an issue when the RS, a few years ago had an event celebrating “weddings” not marriages…but weddings. It was a bit strange, in my opinion. I thought RS is about all women. I also think the church is about all people.

  13. Mary, I would suggest that your feelings of shuntedness were more a result of cultural practices rather than doctrinal beliefs.

    Which supports my point of view that these celebrations don’t belong in church meetings, just like missionary farewells (yet we still have those too).

    There are many cultures and countries in the world that don’t have a mother’s day or father’s day. What does the church do in these parts of the world? Do they still have the talks and the primary song and hand out chocolate? or do they simply just carry on as normal?

    I’m betting they just carry on as normal because it’s cultural, not doctrinal. That being the case, we shouldn’t be doing it anywhere.

    Funny how we pick and choose which parts of correlation we agree with and which parts we choose to conveniently ignore.

  14. My wife does the hard work everyday all day. So I think it is fitting that at least 1 day a year . . . is set aside to further recognize the efforts our wives put in.

    Wouldn’t it be better to set aside 365 days to further recognise their efforts?

  15. JM

    Yes they were, but I am very sensitive to those without children. I agree, they don’t belong in church meetings, though I am ambivalent about them really…well somewhat anyway.

    I think they should just hand out chocolate, period. No need to pick a specific day.

  16. See, now that’s the type of thing we should be focusing on!

    And, there is even a scriptural basis for it (See D&C 27:2).

    I can just see the attendance figures skyrocketing!

  17. Sorry Mary, I can’t agree.

    If we are celebrating Mothers, then only people who are mothers get the perks, in my opinion.

    I don’t give gifts to people whose birthday it isn’t, I don’t congratulate those who just didn’t have a baby, and I won’t wish a Happy Mother’s day to those who are not mothers.

  18. Well I’m sorry that some are offended at not having enough “Jesus” in sacrament meeting, but don’t y’all think that parenting has something to do with the core doctrines of the church? Something to do with the Abrahamic Covenant?

    Frankly, I think it’s nice to have some celebration in sacrament meeting. I think it does a whole lot more good in bringing the ward together as a community than everyone sitting there with glazed eyes listening to someone’s silly sentimental twist on tired doctrine.

  19. “Frankly, I think it’s nice to have some celebration in sacrament meeting. I think it does a whole lot more good in bringing the ward together as a community than everyone sitting there with glazed eyes listening to someone’s silly sentimental twist on tired doctrine.”

    You should move to my ward then… You’ll NEVER hear it!

  20. What the heck is a ‘Mother in Zion’?
    Is is called ‘Mothers in Zion’ day?
    No. It’s Mother’s day.

    If you want to make up a new celebration for all the non-mothers who like to fancy themselves breeders, go ahead.

    I’m telling you that I think Mothers day acknowledgements should be reserved for actual mothers … here on Earth.

    Call me a purist.

  21. Well then let’s not continue hurting those who can’t be mothers by raving about how wonderful mothers are and how much better they are in front of the mothers who can’t get pregnant or carry a baby to term, reminding them over and over of their failure.

  22. Don’t leave out all the single guys who can’t seem to find a mate with whom to spread their seed.
    Or the guys who are married but are incapable of procreating.
    The problem, I believe, is the enhanced emphasis on breeding that the lay population (and some of the leaders) of the LDS propagate.
    My word, some people pity a family who only have two kids. It’s a bit much.

  23. Rick

    I wasn’t talking about “breeding”, I am talking about infertility. Perhaps you haven’t experienced the excruciating heartache to want to be a mother, or a father and to not be able to be so. It isn’t a matter of “propagating”, it’s wanting to be a mother. I suppose you would have to experience it to empathise or even sympathise with it. It’s not a matter of pity. I am not talking about having hordes of children. How about one? I speak from very painful experience here. There was a time when I thought my body would completely betray me and I would never have a baby. And I don’t mean just through birth, but that we would never be able to afford to adopt, either. Yes, I sympathise with the men too.

  24. …and a rose on a Sunday would somehow make up for that pain?

    My intent is to shed light on the whole weird idea of these unnecessary artificial social rituals.

    Does Valentine’s day unduly pick at those scabs of those without a love in their lives? Does Christmas make the Jewish kids sad?

    I think you see what I’m getting at.

  25. Uh…no I didn’t say that.

    I am saying don’t pour accolades on mothers in front of those who can’t.

    You can’t compare Christmas/Jewish children with Mother’s Day/infertile.

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