Attaining God’s Glory: Looking for Feedback

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As I mentioned about a year ago, I have been working on a project for the last couple of years (it probably could have taken a week or two, but I can be quite the procrastinator sometimes).

I’ve gone through several scriptures to determine how we can attain God’s glory. Specifically, what role intelligence and truth play.

Thanks to feedback I received last year, I have finished my second draft, and I am interested in feedback. Feel free to give it a read and let me know what you think. It’s 12 printed pages.

12 thoughts on “Attaining God’s Glory: Looking for Feedback

  1. Well since no one else is biting (which is too bad, because you are a good, insightful writer) I will comment. I really enjoyed it and found it enlightening. Sorry I can’t offer more constructive criticism. Don’t think I am the right one for that. Shall I send it to some others who might be willing?

  2. Kim – well, well done. I was told by someone that as members of the church we automatically become heirs to the Celestial Kingdom when we become members, and then as we progress (or regress) in the church, we either go up or down the ladder. It’s an interesting thought, but not one that I agree with (and she couldn’t tell me where she’d read it, so….). I think a lot of times people get swept up in trying to be perfect, and getting discouraged when they can’t be, forgetting that everything in this life (and the next) is based on the “grace by grace” or “line upon line” precept. It certainly gives me hope that I can learn from my screw-up! Thanks again for a great read.

  3. You may wish to pre-reference your further treatment of Lehi’s dream on page 7. It might serve to link the two separate thought-processes more efficiently.

    Do you think the case might be strengthened by using more references outside of John? Maybe II Corinthians or another New Testament source? Sorry, my Bible knowledge is a bit sketchy or I’d be able to expound a bit more here. The overwhelming number of BoM sources may be off-putting to a non-LDS reader – but you may have your target audience already in mind.

    I also felt like your conclusion would fall in line more with the whole piece if it followed more closely the exact verbiage of the sections; or if the points, themselves, were perhaps previously emphasized and then assembled as the conclusion.

    Just my $.02 for what it’s worth.

  4. Good points, rick. I will try to implement them.

    I do have an LDS target in mind, but you do bring up a good point. I’ll try to do some more research into biblical references. D&C and BOM are so explicit though, but there must be something I could use.

    I agree with your thoughts on the conclusion. It seems pretty weak.

  5. Kim,

    I have just started reading your piece, which so far I find very well written. I plan to read it further later, as time permits.

    You remind me of myself. Praise is great, but I want to know how I can make my writings better.

    So far the only thing that jumps out at me is where you state, “Jesus taught that he was the way back to the Father.”

    Shouldn’t that be, “Jesus taught that he IS the way back….” ????? Maybe the tense is correct, but it seems like it should be is because it is on-going.

    Susana

  6. Good point. Generally, with reported speech the reported verb is in the same tense as the reporting verb. Given the universality of his point, there may be an exception. Let me check on that. Thanks for finding it, and I appreciate your comments.

  7. You spend a lot of time talking about intelligence before you even begin to discuss light and truth. Shouldn’t the discussion of light and truth come first? Since intelligence IS light and truth, any discussion or definition of intelligence should flow from the definitions of those. It seems like you are treating the three sort of separately. Either that or my understanding of intelligence is off the mark.

  8. I think they can be used interchangeably, but I think you have a good point. Maybe I should group them altogether and treat them as one concept. The scriptures aren’t very clear on how separate the three are. D&C 93:36 for example seems to imply the three are equal, yet verse 24 seems to imply that truth is greater than knowledge/intelligence. Unless of course knowledge and intelligence are separate.

  9. A few misspellings, easily fixed… I want to go back & reread when I don’t have kids yammering at me… Otherwise, I thought it was very thought-provoking… I would love to see this made into a lesson!

  10. Thanks, SC_mommie. It’s probably too long for a lesson (even more so once I adopt a bunch of changes someone emailed me), but it could probably be adapted.

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