Vengeance is mine

148/365 - Fetch

I got rid of my dog today.

I don’t want to get into the whole story in this post (you can read it here and here), but suffice it to say it had to do with my neighbour.

What I would like to discuss, however, is my reaction.

My first response was one of frustration. I was frustrated that my neighbour gets the benefit of the doubt, and I don’t. I was frustrated Animal Control accepted my neighbour’s exaggerations as fact. I was frustrated I had to pay $100.

I stewed about the issue all day. As such, it didn’t take long for me to consider ways to deal with my neighbour. I considered:

  1. Confronting him and telling him we got rid of Apollo
  2. Confronting him and telling him we had Apollo euthanized
  3. Reporting his cigarette smoke coming in our window
  4. Completely removing the hedge between our houses
  5. Not giving him cookies for Christmas anymore
  6. Stealing a “for sale” sign from someone else’s yard and putting it in his

As the day went on, my thoughts turned to my post-conference resolution to be less judgemental, less selfish, more grateful and more patient. I realized none of the above considerations were going to help me be successful in my resolution.

Before long, I found myself considering Sunday’s gospel doctrine lesson and one specific scripture.

“Behold what the scripture says?¢‚Ǩ‚Äùman shall not smite, neither shall he judge; for judgment is mine, saith the Lord, and vengeance is mine also, and I will repay” (Mormon 8:20)

I slowly realized that it wasn’t up to me to do anything in this situation, even if there is an injustice.

What benefit would there be to my trying to exact vengeance or to confront my neighbour? Wouldn’t the better path be for me to try nurturing what relationship my neighbour and I have?

28 thoughts on “Vengeance is mine

  1. I vote for the For Sale sign on their lawn.

    ….and I’ll go and try to repent and become a better person. :0)

    Sorry to hear your story. That’s really really unfortunate.

  2. I am not at the point of being a better person and forgiving. It’s heartbreaking to see the tears of your children and even my 3 year old waking up and insisting Apollo was back this morning and needing to see if he was. At least the snow distracted her. But last night I asked her how she was and she said ” My’s ok” (she has a bit of a problem with proper pronoun use)and I asked her if she was happy and she said “No. My’s sad” when I asked her why she solemnly said,” My miss Apollo”.

    If Kim wants to give him cookies he can, but I can’t. I have every year, we have been friendly, nice and helpful neighbours, but that doesn’t count obviously. Or matter. I don’t think he likes children either.

  3. Why don’t you let Kim bake the cookies.

    That may be punishment enough for your neighbour.

  4. as a dog lover, trainer, fostermom…
    this just breaks my heart

    and it looks like he was a herding dog, ausie shepherd/border collie mix?(smartest dogs ever)

    anyways, I would have taken him for you. I would. can you get him back? :)

  5. He was an Aussie shepherd/lab cross.

    We could get him back, but there’s no point while this neighbour still lives next door.

  6. I’m sorry Kim. I lost my beloved dog in May and I know that it is heartwrenching to lose a pet in any way.

    I’m for still giving him the cookies but putting laxative in them.

  7. Hew can be adopted from the Animal Shelter and I do say (and this is not as a dog lover) he is a loving and friendly dog and we would love him to go to a good home.

    Kim is a great baker, so cookies from him would be a good thing (he’s a great cook too, better than I).

  8. Anonymous tips to the Crimestoppers line in regard to grow operation activities in your neighbourhood may be in order…

  9. I like them fine. I wish them well, and I never would harm any animal, I believe in being kind, good and taking care of them, but I am not an animal person. The hair and the smell mainly. But my children love Apollo and Kim does too and that is what is holding back my forgiveness (though I know I need to overcome that) and want to make him be sorry he did that to my family. But no, sorry I don’t love dogs.

  10. I know a lot of people would object to this, but why not have the dog’s vocal chords clipped? Then there will be no bark for the neighbor to complain about, and your family gets to keep the dog.

  11. Because then the trespassers would be back stealing stuff from our yard. I’m not saying he never barked; I’m saying he rarely barked. When he did, it kept intruders away.

  12. And I am against maiming an animal for my own convenience or someone else’s. Neutering is different, but no….not cutting the vocal chords.

  13. I can understand not wanting to cut the vocal cords for your convenience. I guess I figured if it was that or the pound, (where maybe he will get adopted, or maybe not) maybe the cutting the cords is a kinder thing to do. For your family and the dog.

  14. They will keep him until he is adopted, so I am not worried about them killing him.

  15. On the other hand, making complaints about the cigarette smoke is appropriate. You have a right to be free of that.

    And, you might want to point out that the barking is still going on with your dog gone and ask animal control to fine your neighbor for a false report.

  16. How the heck is neutering different? It’s a physical alteration for the convenience of having an animal live with human beings rather than in a more natural state. The vocal cord things seems a fair parallel.

    (But I wouldn’t do it, either :) )

  17. Neutering is different as it prevents puppies being born and overpopulating the area, necessitating not only much more care but an over burdening on the system.

    Are you willing to look after all the puppies and kittens being born? We live in the city, we don’t live on a farm. It isn’t “physical altering of an animal to make it convenient to live with humans” it’s preventing the future deaths of untold amounts of baby animals. If you live in a large community or a city you need to take this into consideration.

    Research on this issue shows why spaying and neutering is important. Unless of course you have a fool proof way of keeping a cat or a dog from mating. Good luck with that one.

  18. http://petdoc.com/editorial/pet-overpopulation-a-serious-problem

    One article on the subject.

    It’s estimated that just one unspayed female cat
    and her offspring can produce an estimated 420,000 cats in only seven years. So…room for all of those? Or do you know people who would be able to take all those cats?

    And with dogs, an unneutered male dog can be responsible for dozens of offspring in a single year.

    We don’t live in the wild, and when we domesticate animals we have a responsibility to care for them. In the wild it’s survival of the fittest, but not in human civilisation. So if you are against neutering a dog or a cat, don’t get one. It’s nicer for them, and less of a strain on the system. Kittens and puppies are cute, but they grow quickly and produce more kittens and puppies. Many. Humans don’t normally have litters, but animals almost always do.

  19. I wasn’t suggesting that neutering wasn’t a good idea in many circumstances, just that it isn’t qualitatively different from any other adjustments we may make, whatever the reason. I don’t disagree with your desires to have or to not have one or another procedure done to a pet. I was simply pointing out the inconsistency. You may feel that one procedure is necessary for your family or community circumstances, but another doesn’t make sense for you and you’d rather find another option for the animal, and that’s obviously your decision to make.

    An overabundance of puppies or kittens is just a much larger inconvenience, so many people are willing to make the spay/neutering decision. Again, I’m not saying that’s wrong, but it is just farther along the “inconvenience” scale than the vocal cord thing. We all draw lines in different places.

    If an ‘”over burdening of the system” automatically creates justification, then I believe Jonathan Swift might have “A Modest Proposal” for you.

    Repeating myself, I don’t disagree with or condemn spaying or neutering. But we should at least have the guts to say that we do it to make our lives easier and be able to live with that.

    And by the way, preventing a pet from breeding is a simple matter. It takes a diligence that many are unwilling to assume, but it isn’t complicated.

    ALL of that aside – I’m really sorry that it came to this for your family. As a young child I can honestly remember being much more upset about losing a dog (who I saw and loved every day) than losing a grandparent who I saw infrequently. It’s easy for adults to minimize a child’s feelings in this area, and it’s obvious that you are taking this seriously with your children. My heart goes out to all of you.

  20. Thank you for your condolences. It has been hard for the children and Kim and well, me too (which will surprise Kim).

    Frankly though, not being an animal person I wouldn’t be able to put the time and effort into preventing an animal for breeding. But I just think that for all intents and purposes making a dog unable to use his voice is a little harsher, since he wouldn’t miss his need to…well you know, but trying to bark would be another issue.

  21. Typical City of Lethbridge…

    You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Be cautious!

  22. When I first starting reading your post Kim I thought you were being sarcastic as you don’t have a single revengeful cell in your heart. Maybe in your head but as I kept reading I knew that your heart had taken over. As you know we had to leave Butch behind when we moved to BC and it broke Dad’s heart. I hated being the one doing it. I thought he was a brat and drove me around the bend most days but he had been a part of our family. Dogs bark all the time that is what they are SUPPOSED to do! Some neighbors like some people just like to be complainers and whiners. One day they will realize what they did and even if they never apologize, they will know.

    Thank you for being my responsible adult spiritual son. Missing Apollo will get better.. not today nor tomorrow but it will get easier to bear.

  23. You should definitely try the last two ideas, there is no point in giving him cookies for Christmas and maybe you will managed to make him mad with the for sale sign. I don’t know if you have a strong case about the cigarette smoking, but you can certainly try if you think that he will have to stop disturbing you with this aspect.

  24. so how is your relationship with the neighbor now? Any different then before?

  25. Well, it wasn’t the neighbour we thought. It was his roommate. And he still ignores us COMPLETELY right from the start. I did soften and made them cookies. Regan delivered them, this guy pretty much brushed him off and went to get his roommate (the homeowner) who very politely said thank you and was courteous. The other guy though…I don’t know, I think he has issues, and am wondering if his rudeness and curmudgeonly behaviour is because he has some sadness in his life that makes him bitter. Who knows. All I know is, he has never responded to our neighbourly gestures and is just, well, a curmudgeon. At least seems that way!

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