Comments on: Vows and Stuff http://www.ourthoughts.ca/2009/02/13/vows-and-stuff/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=vows-and-stuff Thought-provoking commentary on life, politics, religion and social issues. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:27:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: rick http://www.ourthoughts.ca/2009/02/13/vows-and-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-104504 rick Tue, 17 Feb 2009 16:39:34 +0000 http://www.ourthoughts.ca/?p=1746#comment-104504 <p>Were all four divorces as a result of adultery? I couldn't tell by the original post.</p> Were all four divorces as a result of adultery? I couldn’t tell by the original post.

]]> By: Mary Siever http://www.ourthoughts.ca/2009/02/13/vows-and-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-104075 Mary Siever Sun, 15 Feb 2009 03:53:27 +0000 http://www.ourthoughts.ca/?p=1746#comment-104075 <p>Yep, Mum has that one. It's a wonderful book. (The Peacegiver).</p> Yep, Mum has that one. It’s a wonderful book. (The Peacegiver).

]]> By: Joe Bloggs http://www.ourthoughts.ca/2009/02/13/vows-and-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-104049 Joe Bloggs Sun, 15 Feb 2009 00:46:00 +0000 http://www.ourthoughts.ca/?p=1746#comment-104049 <p>The Peacegiver: How Christ Offers to Heal Our Hearts and Homes /by James L. Ferrell</p> <p>is a very interesting book about a marriage another is</p> <p>Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family / by David C. Dollahite</p> <p>I don't have many answers but Dalin H. Oaks gave a good talk on Divorce in a General Conference that acknowledges that for some divorce is a necessary opportunity to start again.</p>

The Peacegiver: How Christ Offers to Heal Our Hearts and Homes /by James L. Ferrell

is a very interesting book about a marriage another is

Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family / by David C. Dollahite

I don’t have many answers but Dalin H. Oaks gave a good talk on Divorce in a General Conference that acknowledges that for some divorce is a necessary opportunity to start again.

]]> By: Mary Siever http://www.ourthoughts.ca/2009/02/13/vows-and-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-104041 Mary Siever Sat, 14 Feb 2009 23:57:30 +0000 http://www.ourthoughts.ca/?p=1746#comment-104041 <p>I can't speak for anyone else really, and there can be varying reasons of course, but I think when it comes to two people who COULD with equal effort, or one who refuses to show that effort, it comes down to selfish desires; " <em>I</em> am not happy, S/he doesn't understand me, etc etc". when a spouse treats their loved one as less important, expecting them to fulfill their needs and desires and not realising that it should always be the other way around, relationships deteriorate. Truly, marriages are 100% effort from both sides, not 50/50.</p> <p>If a wife or husband allows their spouse to treat them disrespectfully, that compounds it. Emotional or physical abuse, it is all completely abominable, and a husband or wife should always treat each other with the utmost respect and love, in public and private.</p> <p>I was fortunate that I saw my grandparents' respectful, loving marriage and I knew that was what I would strive for. I think I have it :) Most especially, I have a husband who treats me honestly like I am the most valuable person in his life. That is such motivation for me, and so humbling and helps me stay on track. He often diffuses a grumpy situation from me (which really is rarely directed at him) with gentleness, understanding and patience. Even if he has occasion to correct me (and hey sometimes I correct him!) I never feel offense or anger at that. Nor do I feel inferior, ever.</p> <p>You did good raising this boy!!</p> I can’t speak for anyone else really, and there can be varying reasons of course, but I think when it comes to two people who COULD with equal effort, or one who refuses to show that effort, it comes down to selfish desires; ” I am not happy, S/he doesn’t understand me, etc etc”. when a spouse treats their loved one as less important, expecting them to fulfill their needs and desires and not realising that it should always be the other way around, relationships deteriorate. Truly, marriages are 100% effort from both sides, not 50/50.

If a wife or husband allows their spouse to treat them disrespectfully, that compounds it. Emotional or physical abuse, it is all completely abominable, and a husband or wife should always treat each other with the utmost respect and love, in public and private.

I was fortunate that I saw my grandparents’ respectful, loving marriage and I knew that was what I would strive for. I think I have it :) Most especially, I have a husband who treats me honestly like I am the most valuable person in his life. That is such motivation for me, and so humbling and helps me stay on track. He often diffuses a grumpy situation from me (which really is rarely directed at him) with gentleness, understanding and patience. Even if he has occasion to correct me (and hey sometimes I correct him!) I never feel offense or anger at that. Nor do I feel inferior, ever.

You did good raising this boy!!

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