Comments on: Can I lust after my wife?

By: Pastor Andre Bradley

Pastor Andre Bradley — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 21:08:09 +0000

Heb 4:12–13 explains that our standard is the Word of God and that it judges the THOUGHTS and INTENTIONS of the heart. God is interested in the thoughts and intents of the heart because all actions are subject to our thought life (seeds). Sex is a seed, and designed to produce a harvest. It should be an act in extension of a pure heart (Psalm 24). Lust, on the other hand, is a weed and is designed to take life and abort a harvest. It is an act in extension of a leaking heart. As for the question if a man can lust after his wife. ofcourse he can. LUST IS NOT DEFILING THE PERSON, BUT DEFILING YOURSELF. Sex has a place, a dwelling place (John 14). Lust does not say… You in me and I in you and we are one. It says… you for me and more of you for me and i get what i want when i want. Even the wife God Himself has chosen for a man can never satify the heart of a man under the influence of lust. Lust occurs as a result of hurt when parts of the heart where God belongs is attempted to be substituted with something else. That’s why it’s often so difficult to breakthrough this spirit because it resides in places of the heart and soul that are designed to think on things all day long. Only One thing i know belongs there.

By: Kim Siever

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 17:59:05 +0000

Thanks for stopping by, Brian.

Do you think then that we shouldn’t heed the law?

By: brian holland

brian holland — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 17:31:15 +0000

My understanding is that Yeshua was simply trying to point out that mortal man is by nature sinful, even our thoughts betray us, as in lusting after a woman is just as bad as committing adultery with her physically. The point being the law (do not commit adultery) is useless, since my nature man cannot help but be sinful. Thus, we need the salvation offered to us via the gospel plan.

By: ltbugaf

ltbugaf — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 14:33:01 +0000

Respectfully, I think what Triple is describing is covetousness, rather than lust.

By: Triple

Triple — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:53:02 +0000

I came across this blog looking for some help on this subject. I guess it depends on the definition of lust. To me, lust is the wanting of something or someone you do not have, or maybe should not have. If you have the physical OR emotional connection with your spouse, but not the other, you could say that you lust for it. I have had times where I become emotionally disconnected from the world, and have hurt my wife because of it. It has made her physical lust for another become an emotional lust. I know that she has not acted on these feelings physically, but it still hurts. In a healthy relatioship, there should be no need for lust. Lust just ends up hurting everyone involved, and is really wrong just for that reason.

Can you lust after your wife? YES.
Should you lust after your wife? NO.

By: ltbugaf

ltbugaf — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 00:13:01 +0000

I think the points made in comment 9 are valid, but I don’t think the bad behavior described there is necessarily equal to “lusting after” a woman. When a man looks at a woman he’s never met (and never will meet) he certainly can and often does lust after her without engaging in any of the conduct mentioned.

By: ltbugaf

ltbugaf — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 17:59:02 +0000

If I’m committing a sin when I lust after my wife, then the rest of my life won’t ever give me enough time to repent (assuming I ever want to, which is unlikely).

By: Stephen M (Ethesis)

Stephen M (Ethesis) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 03:55:55 +0000

Anon, that was well said, the difference between sharing passion and having lust.

By: anon

anon — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 02:14:34 +0000

I dont think its commiting adultery to lust after your wife, but it still isnt right. Ie, caring more about your own pleasure than hers…not waiting until she’s ready after having a baby, grabbing her breasts when she’s still breastfeeding and tender/sore, oogling at her private parts while she is undressing (in a casual setting), pressuring her for sex when she is sick/tired, not taking the time during the day to show her you love her, but wanting sex later that night. All of those things are lusting after your wife’s body and not treating her with respect.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:50:48 +0000

I appreciate ola senor’s firm stance against adultery but the question as I read it was about lust between already married individuals and if it is even possible?

Lust expressed by viewing things such things as pornography may very well be classified as adultery at worst or infidelity at best. Pornography is a horrible evil and degrades women and families.

I think this scripture expresses that Jesus is saying that it really does matter what is going on in your heart. Even if you do not physically committed adultery something can be wrong in your heart that affects the marriage relationship.

We must check ourselves in these things. When our hearts are right and we truly love our spouse without any selfish motives then physical expressions of love truly can unite us as one.

My 2 cents….