Why porn is wrong

I was thinking about porn today. No, not like that. Pervert. I was thinking about the effect of porn on society. What I am about to share are my own thoughts; they are not supported—to my knowledge—by any studies or articles.

As a Mormon (whatever that means), it probably should not come as a surprise that I think sex should be reserved for marriage. I think this should be the ideal, but at the very least it should be reserved for committed relationships (although for the purpose of this post, I will refer to these relationships as “marriage”).

I think this because I think the purpose of sex (not including reproduction) is to deepen the physical attraction of a couple, bring them closer together, and enrich the love they have for each other.

Porn threatens all this. It threatens the deepening of a couple’s physical attraction; it threatens the bringing of a couple closer together; and it threatens the enriching of the love they have for each other.

Porn does all this by distorting the purpose of sex. Porn convinces people that the purpose of sex is to ensure personal sexual fulfillment. If we use sex exclusively to meet our personal sexual desires, at worst we ignore the sexual needs of our partner and how to enrich each other and at best—if you can call it that—we use our partner in order to fulfill our own sexual desires.

In addition, since sex should be reserved for marriage, watching porn means we are participating in sex (even if only as an observer) with someone other than our partner. Of course, those acting in porn are participating in sex that is not in a marriage, but also encourage (granted at the hand of the producers) the participation of viewers in sex outside of that marriage.

All that being said, there are other reasons porn is wrong.

Porn objectifies. It turns the actors in the films into objects used to obtain the goal of the viewer to meet personal sexual fulfillment. Porn creates a false image of not only the purpose of sex, but false expectations of what is required (or possible) during sex. It also reduces men and women from complex people with desires, knowledge, gifts, and talents to penises, breasts, vaginas, mouths, and anuses.

Because the majority of porn viewers are men, porn is created for the male perspective. Lesbianism is reduced from the actual loving relationships seen in real life into something that titillates the male viewer. Women are portrayed only as objects designed to bring about male ejaculation, both on and off screen. Ends of scenes are determined by male orgasm, rarely (if ever) female orgasm.

There is no redeeming quality to porn. It fills no inherently good purpose.

Obedience

People talk about obedience as an all inclusive commandment, but they need to clarify what is important in being obedient. It doesn’t mean being obedient across the board to everyone, but being obedient to God. As a child that means being obedient to parents, but only in things that align with the will of God (for example a child does not have to be obedient to abusive behaviour from an adult, even a parent), because we can be obedient to Satan as well as God (not at the same time though).

So when people talk about obedience without really delving into specifics, that can be confusing and can be detrimental, especially if a child is in a family or living situation where they are being led to do things harmful to them or others.

Sometimes people have had the idea that family is ‘all’ and I agree with that as long as the family is a nurturing and positive influence. Reading about the Mexican drug cartels and how more women are getting arrested in connection with it and that they have been involved because of family; fathers, uncles and brothers,  I started thinking about how they got drawn into it.

Anyone can get drawn into evil, women or men.

It made me think that they got involved because of family, because of desiring to stick with family members and believing that whatever happens is right because this is their father or uncle or brother who insist on it. It helps shape their thinking.

Families can be destructive as well as constructive and friends can be either too.

The desire that people have to belong to someone, a group, whether it is a family group, a friend group or whatever, can lead them to make choices that are destructive, because of the need to be obedient to that unit, whether an individual or a group morality.

Being obedient to God gives us safety, because He won’t lead us wrong. Sometimes people think that obedience just makes us mindless sheep, but not when we direct that obedience in the right direction. If we are obedient to Heavenly Father, we are making a conscious choice to live a productive and beneficial life. Because His commandments are carefully thought out to bring us progression and happiness.