Why porn is wrong

I was thinking about porn today. No, not like that. Pervert. I was thinking about the effect of porn on society. What I am about to share are my own thoughts; they are not supported—to my knowledge—by any studies or articles.

As a Mormon (whatever that means), it probably should not come as a surprise that I think sex should be reserved for marriage. I think this should be the ideal, but at the very least it should be reserved for committed relationships (although for the purpose of this post, I will refer to these relationships as “marriage”).

I think this because I think the purpose of sex (not including reproduction) is to deepen the physical attraction of a couple, bring them closer together, and enrich the love they have for each other.

Porn threatens all this. It threatens the deepening of a couple’s physical attraction; it threatens the bringing of a couple closer together; and it threatens the enriching of the love they have for each other.

Porn does all this by distorting the purpose of sex. Porn convinces people that the purpose of sex is to ensure personal sexual fulfillment. If we use sex exclusively to meet our personal sexual desires, at worst we ignore the sexual needs of our partner and how to enrich each other and at best—if you can call it that—we use our partner in order to fulfill our own sexual desires.

In addition, since sex should be reserved for marriage, watching porn means we are participating in sex (even if only as an observer) with someone other than our partner. Of course, those acting in porn are participating in sex that is not in a marriage, but also encourage (granted at the hand of the producers) the participation of viewers in sex outside of that marriage.

All that being said, there are other reasons porn is wrong.

Porn objectifies. It turns the actors in the films into objects used to obtain the goal of the viewer to meet personal sexual fulfillment. Porn creates a false image of not only the purpose of sex, but false expectations of what is required (or possible) during sex. It also reduces men and women from complex people with desires, knowledge, gifts, and talents to penises, breasts, vaginas, mouths, and anuses.

Because the majority of porn viewers are men, porn is created for the male perspective. Lesbianism is reduced from the actual loving relationships seen in real life into something that titillates the male viewer. Women are portrayed only as objects designed to bring about male ejaculation, both on and off screen. Ends of scenes are determined by male orgasm, rarely (if ever) female orgasm.

There is no redeeming quality to porn. It fills no inherently good purpose.

11 thoughts on “Why porn is wrong”

  1. I also agree. I have a son who is now past the average age of first viewing (I think age 11). I talk to him a lot about why porn is hurtful. I try to be very matter of fact about it. Since it is guaranteed he will run across it in his life, I want him to be able to react to in objectively and choose to not engage. Rather than have it be a secret sin, I talk to him about why a man’s body might be interested in it, but why it is practicing a “fake” relationship, rather than developing skills for a real relationship down the road.
    It fits in well with the overall dangers of too much screen time. Why is too much video gaming bad? Working for hours and hours on acheiving levels in a game SEEMS like you are accomplishing something, but it doesn’t gain you anything real or anything that helps you attain real life goals. It is a fake life and can actually hurt your real life.
    If you start with the end in mind: I want a happy, successful, healthy marriage and a happy, successful, healthy sex life within that, you can’t help but to choose away from porn because it will be teaching all the wrong things about sex and will train your brain in the wrong way about sex and can prevent joy in a real relationship.

    1. Thanks for these thoughts, jks. I agree strongly with you on the idea that porn represents falsehoods and it can be detrimental to our worldview.

  2. you’re right. it doesn’t benefit anyone.

    i spent many years trying to justify it’s existence in my life. But now i know better.

  3. Excellent post – I followed your link from the fMh post and I completely agree with you. It adds a 3rd (or 4th, 5th, etc) person to your marriage that gives nothing and takes much. Very well written :)

  4. On point. As addiction therapist we call pornography addiction am intimacy disorder. It may help some couples spice things up but for the majority of couples I’ve seen it drives them apart. For example, rates of ED skyrocketed at the same time high speed internet became the norm.

    1. Thanks, Zac.I appreciate your professional insight. As I said at the outset, all of this was my own opinion, but it’s nice to have it substantiated. :)

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