Category Archives: Love

Gratitude and Patience

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A day late, I know. Yesterday was Thanksgiving. But today I am reflecting on what I am thankful for, and trying to remember this (actually currently on a minute by minute basis). Recently my prayers have included asking for help in being patient with my children. Oh it is SO easy to be patient with babies, and toddlers. Not quite as much with growing children with strong personalities and minds of their own (can we say a 7 year old boy with an abundance of energy and 2 sisters he delights in teasing??).

I remember though, that I am so grateful for these beautiful wonderful children and one day, yes, one day, this overly energetic son and my budding pre-teen daughter (cringe), independent 3 year old and baby coming and any more who will come to us, will be all grown up and I won’t have my babies to cuddle and children to protect and nurture. That will be their job with their children. So learning to enjoy and revel in this time is vitally important. So yes, I am learning patience. At least I hope so.

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Love One Another, As I Have Loved You

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My personal quest has been, recently, to study and understand the principle of charity better. Even more so, to understand the true nature of love, as the Saviour would have us love. So, I have been studying the scriptures, thinking about it, thinking about the nature of Jesus Christ, reading other publications, such as The Peacegiver: How Christ heals our hearts and homes and The Anatomy of Peace (which I am currently in the middle of reading).

Just yesterday I had an epiphany.

I asked myself the following question, or rather, the following question came to my mind; Why do I love Jesus Christ? (or anyone I love, for that matter). Why do I feel humble when thinking of Him, why do I get an overwhelming sense of gratitude and love when I think about Him? Is it because of anything I have done? Is it because I feel I deserve or should be loved by Him? No.

And why do I have a desire to be better and to do what He wants me to do? Why do I strive (with limited success) to be like Him? Why do I want to be like Him?

It is because He loves me. And I don’t just think this, it is something I know and feel and am aware of on a basic level. His love for me is apparent when I feel the spirit, when I think of His life, how He lived and behaved towards people He came in contact with. This is independent of His teachings to obey the commandments. His love for me is unconditional. Remember, this is independent of His teachings to be obedient and follow the commandments. Loving me does not mean He expects less of me or will let me off the hook.

So all these things I feel and want to be are inspired by His love for me. Not for anything in myself or that I have created. This is the love that He wants us to have for others. For our husbands and wives, our parents, our children, our friends, our other family members, our acquaintances, those we have conflict with, those who are not like us, those who offend us, those who hurt us, those we have no reason to like, those who do things that annoy us. Everyone. He wants us to actually have this love so that they feel this love and are saved by it.

I understand what this love is. It isn’t the doing, it is the state of heart and mind, of truly loving, so that in our demeanor, attitude and behaviour towards others, we radiate this love. This is why people flocked to Him, why children surrounded Him. They knew His love was genuine and constant, they basked in it and wanted it. When He came to the Americas, this is why the multitude didn’t want Him to leave. This is the Spirit which cannot help but be present in the face of such love. It is a love that grows and needs no effort, because it is. It is something that is possible to attain through a lifetime of learning and growth. He has this love for all. We can at least, have this love for those around us.

This is a love I can develop over time, independent of my expectations of others, that I can come to with His help. But this is the true concept of the love of Jesus Christ.

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Choices and Consequences

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My mind has been somewhat taken up with the news of the deaths of these poor baby girls in Saskatchewan, left to freeze and die in the cold snow, in -50 degree weather, this week. My heart breaks for them, for their loved ones, including the young father who left them (and again we don’t know all the details) because in spite of the mistakes he made, in taking them out without proper clothes, and leaving them, because he wasn’t aware of all he was doing, he is suffering for the choices he made. It looks as though something precipitated this, which caused a string of ill advised choices, fueled by alcohol and stress. I am not judging either, but just feeling pain for this family and these poor babies.The comfort is that I know Heavenly Father sent his angels to hold these innocents, to bring them home and maybe maybe to take away the suffering from the cold. Maybe the cold didn’t cause them too much physical anguish? I don’t know much of what freezing to death is like, and I don’t want to find out that they suffered excruciating pain, so young as they are. Children, especially the smallest ones need and are to be protected. So many children for many different reasons are not, and I know this hurts the Lord, I don’t question why He doesn’t always interfere, because He is wiser than I am.

What I feel, as a mother (and even just as a human being) is this urgency, to protect and save the suffering babies. Right now, this is the current one in my mind, these little girls who had little protection from the elements.

I am not thinking (as I know some are) that it is just more evidence of problems on the reserves. No, it is a human problem. The choices made by the father he will regret for the rest of his life. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and sorrow he is experiencing, and their mother as well, that because of a fight, she was not there to watch over and keep her girls safe. The tragedy just transcends all blame at that end.

I do think there is some responsibility for a government that does not regulate the sale of alcohol better. Yes, this father (and so many other alcoholics) made his own choice to purchase and consume alcohol, but evidence shows that First Nations people are genetically more prevalent to substance addiction. The government makes too much money, though to not control the purchase of alcohol or the accessibility of it, better. Do they think of the victims of alcoholism? The innocents, who because of this freedom to drink yourself into a stupor, suffer, and sometimes pay, as in this case, with their lives.

See, children have a right to be protected, to be cared for. They cannot care for themselves. If a puppy or a kitten had been left out there, that animal may have had a better chance of survival. But if an adult is at risk, then how much more are a 3 year old and a baby barely over the age of a year unable to look after themselves? Especially in the debilitating cold.

But the government does not want to lose the revenue they gain through the suffering of others. Our governments (provincial and federal) who are supposed to do their best for the citizens make poor decisions that affect the lives and well being of those who do not choose to even participate in that. These little girls were not a part of the decision their father made to drink, nor a part of the decision to sell the alcohol, to create easy access to it’s sale, to make it in the first place. Adults, people who are supposed to have the intelligence to make responsible choices designed to promote the well being and safety of those they have stewardship over, were the ones who made the decision that resulted in the suffering and death of two little girls.

All I know is that a loving Saviour held them in His arms, this I know, brought them home and ended their suffering and kept them safe and I am sure, wept tears because of His great love, not only for them, but for all involved.

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Filled with light and charity?

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We read the following in D&C 88:67:

And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.

Mormon tells us the following:

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love [that is, charity], which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.

Now, when I fill a glass of water, I cannot fill it with milk until it is empty again. So how can we be filled with charity when our bodies are filled with light?

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Serving Others, Loving Jesus

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A very popular scripture in the Church (and perhaps even general Christianity) is John 14:15.

If ye love me, keep my commandments.

Perhaps one reason it is so popular is because it is so easy to understand. Of course, the way it is written it is an easy target for guilt-inducing leadership. I digress though.

The other day I was sharing this passage with our children at one of our supper scripture sessions, and noticed a footnote I had written in at some earlier time. It pointed to D&C 42:29:

If thou lovest me thou shalt serve me and keep all my commandments.

I found the extra expounding interesting: firstly, because serving and commandment keeping were made distinct, and secondly, because there’s more to loving Jesus than keeping the commandments. Or rather that showing our love for him is more than just keeping the commandments.

Almost immediately after sharing this scripture with the children, Mosiah 2:17 came to mind:

[When] ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.

So not only is serving God a sign of our love for Him, but more importantly so is our serving others.

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Divorce Immunity

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I was listening to a podcast this morning about a family who experienced so much happiness together, and for certain reasons that are irrelevant to this post, the parents eventually got divorced. The parents continued having a very amicable relationship, but I was still saddened by the divorce. I was saddened because of why they divorced, just that they did, and it made me think about how unbearable it would be for me right now if Mary approached me and wanted a divorce. A divorce is unfathomable to me giving the state of our marriage currently.

But I was left wondering something. Do couples who divorce after 25 or 30 or 50 years feel the same way at 11 years of marriage as I do now? When they had been married for 11 years, was their married life blissful and divorce unfathomable? Or has the reality of eventual divorce already entered into their marriage by that point? Can I be realistic that if my marriage is as strong as it is now at 11 years, that it will always be immune to divorce?

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Lust

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When Jesus visited the Nephites, one of the things he said was the following:

Whosoever looketh on a woman, to lust after her, hath committed adultery already in his heart. (3 Ne 12:28)

Obviously this means more than simply looking at a woman, but what specifically does it mean? Is there more to this scripture than simply saying that adultery goes beyond simply as a married person having sex with someone other than his spouse? If so, what constitutes looking at a woman lustfully? Does looking at a woman and thinking she has nice legs constitute lust? Can a man look at a woman’s body on purpose without the thought of having sex with her and still be lusting after her?

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Judgement and why I just can’t do it.

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I decided, in view of conversation that has happened in the past between myself and um…well, one other, that I perhaps needed to clarify some more why I feel so strongly, the way I do, about judging others for their choices, behaviours or decisions.

I want to make it clear, first of all that I am not saying this in anyway to say “I am better because I don’t judge anyone”. I am well aware I judge others. I have done it, I probably still do , though mostly in abstract, hopefully (crazy drivers who don’t know what a turn signal is for!!!). It has taken me several years, but I have learned a few things in my life.

I am the oldest of 7 children. I and my youngest sister are the only ones who are active in Church at this time. The rest are in varying stages of life, but all are inactive. All are still members (whether they consider themselves to be or not). Do I want them to come back to Church and be active? Yes I do. I want it very much. But it’s been more effective to our relationships (such as some of them may be) to let them know that I love them, no matter what choices they have made.

There is someone who used to be rather close to me. Or at least, who I knew very well. It has been a number of years since he and I have been very close at all, but he is still very dear to me. I remember him as a child, very happy, mischievous, bright, energetic. I remember how extremely intelligent he was (and is). I remember how innovative he was. How he charmed others with literally no effort. He was constanly surrounded by friends. How cuddly of a baby he was, how big his smile was. I have always felt honoured to know him. I still do, because he is a very choice spirit and a special person. He also suffers from depression, among other things and he is a drug addict. Yes, he certainly isn’t on the path of spiritual salvation (or physical salvation either). But I don’t see him as a sinner or a horrible person who is doing his darndest to destroy the life God gave him or to be disobedient and evil. Yes, for all intents and purposes he is “apostasising”. But if I could save him, if I could carry him, if I could give him my testimony, if I could make him happy, if I could make certain that he would get on the straight and narrow, oh, I would. I would drag him by the arm. I would make sure he got back to the Lord, because I want him to be truly happy, and I want to grow a relationship with him. Can you see the beauty of a spirit inside an imperfect body? I have, too many times to write anyone off.

Then I look at my own life. I live pretty well. I have my faults (oh too many to count). I am impatient, I get too frustrated with others, often with my children, often with myself. I am a procrastinator, I need to do much better at my calling. I can go on and on. Sure, I am active, I hold a temple recommend, I have a testimony of this Gospel that is firm and unmoving, but I am far, very far from perfect. I don’t even come close. And for some reason, I recall the words of Jesus Christ that we are to be careful how we judge. When I see the example of His life, how He served with love and compassion. All those who sought Him, even those who reviled Him. And I think about the fact that even me, with all my many faults, He loves, I feel so unworthy of that love. Because I am not even half as charitable as I know I need to be. Sure, I go to Church, I read my scriptures, I do my visiting teaching, I have faith, I obey the Word of Wisdom, etc. etc. But where I so sadly lack, is in charity to my fellow beings. And so no, I can’t judge anyone else and tell them they are being rotten and are on the road to that dark place.

Moroni 7:46
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail?¢‚Ǩ‚Äù”

And I don’t have it. Not enough, at any rate. Not even close enough.

And yet. I feel my Saviour’s love. In spite of all this, He still has hope for me.

“I know that my Redeemer lives;
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, He lives, who once was dead;
He lives, my ever living Head.

He lives to bless me with His love,
He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed,
He lives to help in time of need.

He lives to grant me rich supply,
He lives to guide me with His eye,
He lives to comfort me when faint,
He lives to hear my soul?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s complaint.

He lives to silence all my fears,
He lives to wipe away my tears
He lives to calm my troubled heart,
He lives all blessings to impart.

He lives, my kind, wise, heavenly Friend,
He lives and loves me to the end;
He lives, and while He lives, I?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢ll sing;
He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.

He lives and grants me daily breath;
He lives, and I shall conquer death:
He lives my mansion to prepare;
He lives to bring me safely there.

He lives, all glory to His Name!
He lives, my Saviour, still the same.
Oh, the sweet joy this sentence gives,
I know that my Redeemer lives!”

This is one of my favourite hymns, one of the hymns that when I sing it, or read the lyrics, humbles my heart and spirit with the great love my Saviour has for me. And when I hear these words I also hear them in behalf of everyone else, because if He is so loving, so selfless and compassionate towards ME, then how can He not feel that way towards everyone else, despite choices they make?

Of course we all need to repent, we all need to do better (if we didn’t we sure wouldn’t be here). But in spite of all our shortcomings and all the ways we mess up, He still loves us. And though He, who has more right than any, in the perfect life He led, in the exalted position He now has, to place a declaration of judgement on each of us, He witholds that for the final judgment, exhorting us to do better, to live happier lives, to love as He loves.

So, see. This is why it is so important to me and why it hurts so much to hear harsh judgements made of other people. It could be me. It could be you. It could be anyone.

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