Our third trans child approached us last month to say that they no longer want to attend church and no longer believe its teachings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Half of our children now are estranged from the church. Each of them is trans. I don\u2019t consider this a coincidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The church\u2019s rhetoric pushes LGBTQ members out. Our 10yo told us that they don\u2019t feel spiritually safe at church, that it\u2019s not a spiritually safe place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The church opposes same sex marriage. They don\u2019t agree that gender isn\u2019t binary. They see queer identity as abnormal, as a trial or burden one must overcome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And these perspectives are reflected in the rhetoric we hear over the pulpit, in our classrooms, and from each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And when we use homophobic and transphobic rhetoric\u2014even if we think we are supportive and open minded\u2014because we think church is a safe place to say such comments, we forget that there are members in these meetings who hear us, who those comments personally apply to, who are hurt by them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And over time, those hurt feelings build up, convincing them that they\u2019re not wanted, that there\u2019s no place for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Furthermore, because the church teaches and emphasizes the idea that we have all truth; that if Joseph Smith is a false prophet, it\u2019s all wrong; that if the church is wrong, God must not exist, then it shouldn\u2019t be surprising when people estranged from the church abandon religion entirely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not only does our rhetoric push LGBTQ people out of the church but it encourages them to burn it all on their way out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n