A little over two years ago, LDS commentator Greg Trimble wrote an article entitled \u201cThe Place For Gays Inside The Mormon Church\u201d. In it, Greg shares an experience he had with one gay man\u2014yes, just one\u2014who believed that there\u2019s a place for gay people in the LDS church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

That article was shared a lot. Thousands of times, in fact. Even by conservative Mormons. They saw Greg\u2019s retelling of the story and his subsequent pondering as support for their belief that you can be gay and<\/em> LDS. And they shared the heck out of it. Because there\u2019s nothing quite like slacktivism to bring about change in a church you don\u2019t think should actually change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Right wing Mormons completely ignore the experiences of LGBTQ Mormons. Until their buddy Greg Trimble comes along and shares a story of an anonymous gay man whose story matches their worldview. Then all of a sudden, they\u2019re quick to share gay Mormon experiences. But no sharing stories of suicide, no stories of rejection, no stories of abandonment and loneliness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They\u2019re quick to embrace their leaders who say that LGBTQ Mormons don\u2019t exist or that their relationships are counterfeit. But they don\u2019t walk in Pride parades, they don\u2019t serve in outreach organizations, and they don\u2019t do anything but lip service to make LGBTQ Mormons feel like there actually is a place for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But let\u2019s share Greg Trimble\u2019s article to appease our consciences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A friend of mine at the time commented on a Facebook post I wrote on the topic, trying to position himself as a neutral party, explaining his understanding of the viewpoints of \u201cboth sides\u201d debating on my post and encouraging each to come together \u201cto share ideas respectfully and calmly\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In his comment, he used language that was problematic\u2014phrases such as “homosexual behaviour\u201d, \u201cpeople with same-sex attraction\u201d, \u201cthey have an uphill climb\u201d\u2014so I responded with the following.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is part of the problem. The way you’ve described the \u201csides\u201d shows a lack of understanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take the phrase \u201chomosexual behaviour\u201d, for example. What does that even mean? How gay people behave in a restaurant? How they perform in their job? How they treat their children?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or is \u201chomosexual behaviour\u201d a code word for gay sex, as if that\u2019s the only behaviour of LGBTQ people? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the idea of \u201cpeople with same-sex attraction\u201d. Phrasing like that pathologizes. It\u2019s saying they have a condition, just like people with diabetes or people with cancer. And if it\u2019s a condition, it can be overcome. Hence we get things like \u201cpray the gay away\u201d and electric shock therapy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, they have an uphill battle, but it\u2019s not because of this so-called condition; it\u2019s because they have to deal with prejudice from their family, their friends, their society, and their church. Prejudice that overwhelms them, ostracizes them, depresses them, and kills them. Again, it\u2019s not their attraction that creates the uphill battle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, by generalizing with \u201csame-sex attraction\u201d, we silence all the other LGBTQ people who aren\u2019t gay. It ignores trans issues, asexual issues, pansexual issues, intersex issues, and so on. It ignores the diversity within the LGBTQ community. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Liberals (or others on the left) aren\u2019t trying to show compassion simply because of risk. They\u2019re also trying to show compassion because someone needs to and many members aren\u2019t doing it. They\u2019re trying to be inclusive because it\u2019s the right thing to do, and not just because someone might be more likely to kill themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They\u2019re also not just asking for leaders to accommodate LGBTQ members; they\u2019re asking for love. They\u2019re asking for equality. The church is not just not accommodating LGBTQ members; they\u2019re specifically accommodating cishet members.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The idea that we don\u2019t help reach out because we don\u2019t agree with \u201ccomponents of the movement\u201d (whatever that means) is ridiculous. That\u2019s telling our LGBTQ fellow members that our feelings are more important than theirs, that it\u2019s more important that we be comfortable than it is to reach out in the love that our brothers and sisters have lost from their families, ward members, and leaders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n