Our third trans child approached us last month to say that they no longer want to attend church and no longer believe its teachings.
Half of our children now are estranged from the church. Each of them is trans. I don’t consider this a coincidence.
The church’s rhetoric pushes LGBTQ members out. Our 10yo told us that they don’t feel spiritually safe at church, that it’s not a spiritually safe place.
The church opposes same sex marriage. They don’t agree that gender isn’t binary. They see queer identity as abnormal, as a trial or burden one must overcome.
And these perspectives are reflected in the rhetoric we hear over the pulpit, in our classrooms, and from each other.
And when we use homophobic and transphobic rhetoric—even if we think we are supportive and open minded—because we think church is a safe place to say such comments, we forget that there are members in these meetings who hear us, who those comments personally apply to, who are hurt by them.
And over time, those hurt feelings build up, convincing them that they’re not wanted, that there’s no place for them.
Furthermore, because the church teaches and emphasizes the idea that we have all truth; that if Joseph Smith is a false prophet, it’s all wrong; that if the church is wrong, God must not exist, then it shouldn’t be surprising when people estranged from the church abandon religion entirely.
Not only does our rhetoric push LGBTQ people out of the church but it encourages them to burn it all on their way out.
